Living in the UK: Walking with the Grieving: On National Mourning and British Mourning Customs

No matter what our views on the British monarchy, the passing of Queen Elizabeth II is a momentous event in the UK. And many will be saddened or grieving. In this national mourning period, you will likely see people in your local communities grieving for Her Majesty’s death.

British mourning customs are about remembering the dead, sharing the family’s grief, and showing sympathy. These are often expressed through religious services, flowers, and messages of sympathy and care. Therefore, you will see commemorative services and special services being held in many churches across the UK in the coming days of the national mourning period, where people sing hymns, share Bible passages, and pray together to remember the Queen for her life and works. If you would like to pay tribute to the Queen as well, you are welcome to join these services.

Many British people also send condolence flowers to show sympathy for the bereaved families. And at times of national tragedies, it is customary to lay flowers at designated outdoor locations to show respect and commiseration. You can lay flowers at places like  Green Park and Hyde Park in London, or in front of the Queen’s Gallery at Holyrood Palace in Edinburgh, near other royal residences or at other locally designated areas.

You can sign and write a few words of comfort or sympathy in a book of condolence, or in a condolence card if you know the deceased or their family personally. You can find these condolence books in local councils, Church of England churches, or you can write on the national book of condolence on the royal family’s website online.

But mourning is not limited by customs. If you are also affected by the Queen’s death, or if you want to be here for your grieving British friends, you can commemorate and share about the Queen’s life in your own traditions and customs.

The Rt Revd Rose Hudson-Wilkin, Bishop of Dover, shared a conversation she had with the Queen on BBC Radio (8 September), in which she asked the Queen why she always walked so slowly. The Queen was said to have replied  “so that she would not be walking faster than the slowest person in the country”.

In this time of her passing away, let us also take a lesson from Her Majesty’s example in kindness. To walk slowly and respectfully with those who are sad, with the understanding that people need time to grieve at their own pace, and in their own customs.